Single men in the Lifestyle.
Ha, let’s not kid ourselves…as men the perception is we want only “no strings attached” sex. This is true for some men however not all. In order for a single man to be successful in the Lifestyle as a Swinger he must follow some serious rules, not appear desperate and make sure he respects the relationship of the couples he does and does not play with.
Word gets around fast, especially when it’s about a single man who doesn’t “get it”. As a single man you should set up rules to follow and realize couples will have their set of rules and boundaries. Make sure, oh please make sure, you ask what is and is not ok when interacting with couples. The slightest wrong move and even though you didn’t mean to offend them could cost you many referrals. And who doesn’t remember the highest form of flattery is a referral.
Yes guys, there is an overwhelming number of dudes that want to be part of the Swinger world. This doesn’t mean you can’t enter…it means do it the right way and you’ll be one of the successful ones.
Many couples don’t have a problem playing with single men…it’s being a) allowed to the parties/events where you can meet them and b) knowing how to act once there that will determine whether or not you see any action. Due to there being a good amount of single men to typically choose from, promoters invite the guys who are respectful as well as the guys who are referred to them. The Swinger community can be and is picky when it comes to which single men they allow into events.
The websites are a possible way for single men to meet couples. Remember though gentleman…be one (a gentleman that is)! You may be looking for fun with the female half however the male half must be ok with you, approve of you and trust you. The couple you are interested in may enjoy MFM (male, female, male threesomes) or be ok with the female playing while the man watches…ask in a respectful manner. Writing to the lady will get you blackballed immediately. Propositioning someones female partner without acknowledging the man will get you blackballed immediately. Implying you are the greatest thing since sliced bread will get you blackballed immediately. Get it yet guys? Be respectful. Be kind. Be a gentleman! The couple isn’t looking to make you a “star”. If they choose to play with you know your role…you are a guest star or supporting character. The Lifestyle isn’t about breaking couples up.
Now while on websites guys, send a decent message. Don’t copy and paste the same message to multiple couples. Trust me, we all talk and the word will get around you are lazy and or desperate. That is a huge turnoff. Also, do not send a picture of your genitals whether soft or hard…few of us care to see them. If a couples profile states “no single men”…respect that. You are NOT the exception to the rule. Again, we all talk and your lack of respect will be told to others. Hello…blackballed!
Single dudes, if you get lucky enough to be invited to a party or even a private meeting with a couple is arranged DON’T BAIL OUT. What’s the point of putting all of the work in if you are going to bail out? Goes back to respect.
When at a party or event or private meet-up make sure to include the man in your conversation. The couple will be watching for this. The more the man trusts you the more fun the experience will be for you, the single guy.
Bottom line single men…if I could do it so can you. Being a single guy living in the Lifestyle rocks and can lead to great friendships and sexual experiences. Have fun, follow the simple rules , respect the boundaries couples have set up and if you have some fun experiences we would love to hear about them (names not needed).
Guys, it can be difficult however it is not impossible. Please contact the promoters and clubs in your area and discuss with them their rules regarding single men.
There’s a great book all single men should read…actually all Swingers will enjoy it. The author is Daniel Stern and the book is called, “Swingland”.
Eden After Dark